The 20 week ultrasound -- where it all began

Ok, so I'm going to try this blogging thing. God knows I have enough time on my hands now since I found myself on bed rest 4 weeks ago.

It started on November 6 -- a seemingly normal day, a day full of excitement and anticipation. Geoff and I were going to our 20-week level II ultrasound to see our babies for the first time since I was 8 weeks pregnant. We were excited not only to see our babies again, but we were also going to find out the babies' genders. It all started as you may imagine -- big smiles and some tears as we saw out little babies flutter about, making baby-like movements and sucking their thumbs. Then, as the ultrasound tech hovered over the "area" where gender could be identified Geoff shouts out "that's a girl" -- to which to tech confirmed -- yes, it was indeed a girl. (Geoff, being an ever-so diligent father-to-be had been studying ultrasound pictures to help him identify gender). At that point the tears starting brewing -- Baby A was a girl, we were having at least one girl. We were both so happy -- we looked at each other and began holding hands. The tech then moved onto Baby B. Taking more measurements of Baby B, the tech acknowledged that everything looked good. She then announced... and this is... another girl! Again the tears came -- two girls! We were having two girls, and they both were healthy and everything looked good! Geoff and I were beaming -- after 3 years and 4 cycles of IVF, we had finally made it. It appeared that we had successfully conceived 2 healthy girls and this was the beginning of good things to come. The tech ended her part of the exam and said that the doctor would be in shortly to do the clinical assessment of the measurements.

The doctor came in and started his portion of the exam. As he proceeded with his exam -- again, all looked good. Baby A's measurements were all normal -- feet, head, heart, liver -- everything. This was going great! As he panned over my cervix the tone of his voice changed to concern... "oh-my, oh-my, oh-my" he said in a concerned voice. I was immediately shaking -- "that does not sound good" I said. "Your cervix is opening" he said. "What?" I said. "It apears that you have about 1.5 centimeters left of your cervix" he said. "I am dialated that much" I responded in disbelief. "No -- not dialated" he responded. I quickly understood what he was saying -- cervical effacement had begun. I began to panic. "What does that mean" I asked. "Well -- what it means is I will quickly finish this exam and you will be on your way to Evanston Hospital -- they are doing great things for situations like this, there are options -- just try to relax and not worry... I know that is hard in a situation like this." I looked over at Geoff and he had his face in his hands -- we couldn't believe our complete high had suddenly hit a brick wall and once again, we were faced with a complication in our quest for parenthood. There was no chance for survival if I delivered these babies at 20 weeks -- we both knew that. We had no idea what we were up against.

After completing the exam (a complete blur -- I have no recollection of the rest of the exam) the doctor contacted my OB to inform her that I was not going to be coming for my 3:00 prenatal appointment and explain the situation to her. He put me on the phone and she explained that they would be transferring my care to the ENH high-risk specialists for now, and could perhaps be trasferred back once I reach the 28-30 week mark. She mentioned that it is her recommendation and Dr. Sholl's (the doctor performing the ultrasound) that I go to ENH for an emergency cerclage to try to save the pregnancy. "I know you've been pretty scared about this happening" she said to me -- "I know" I responded, "I just wish this could have been caught sooner" I cried.

Being pregnant with twins I had researched incompetent cervix and I had read many tragic stories of women who went into labor without warning and lost their babies at an early stage of pregnancy. Being concerned about that I had been in to see my OB on at least 2 occasions outside of my normal pre-natal care to have my cervix checked because I was having pain and achiness 'down there' -- most recently a week ago. How could this have happened? Could all of this happened in just a matter of 7 days? It was hard to believe. Would our babies be saved or would we find ourselves again back to square one going through injections, egg retrievals and transfers -- hoping and praying for a postitive pregnancy test -- only to begin the 40-week journey once again -- or being faced with a negative result and being heartbroken all over again. It was too hard to even begin to fathom...

A wheelchair was brought into the office, we were given directions and the name of a doctor who would be meeting us in Labor and Delivery at ENH -- and we were off.