The Hospital Stay - aka The Longest Week of My Life

The first few days after the procedure were the most critical -- according to my doctors. In these days they would be monitoring me for signs of infection and watching for signs of rupture of Baby A's membrane. I had very little pain as a result of the procedure -- the worst part really was recovering from the effects of the spinal. Not being able to feel anything below your belly button is quite a challenge. My first trip to the bathroom I almost landed flat on my face -- luckily there were two PCT's there to catch my fall. I have never experienced the inability to use my legs before, I never imagined they would not support my weight.

Daily my doctors would come in and give me their prognosis -- things were looking good, the stitch is in a good place -- we want to keep you here a few more days to make sure nothing progresses. I spent most of my days in my room alone -- Geoff would come to see me everyday after work. Nurses and PCT's would come in and out on the shift change to do vitals, but unless I called them, or needed something -- they pretty much left me alone. This was both a good and bad thing -- I was often left alone with my thoughts...

I would sit in bed and worry -- worry about what lies ahead. Bedrest. How in the world will I survive 10+/- weeks of bedrest? Where will I sleep? Can I use the stairs? If not, how will I shower -- we only have a powder room on the main floor! Will I have to live in our living room? How will I fix meals when I am home alone? Will we need to get assistance? It just seemed such an impossibility -- like how I felt about our chances of ever becoming pregnant when we were approaching our 4th IVF cycle. I was terrified of being at home alone -- what would I do if I had pains, or worse yet -- signs of pre-term labor. There would be no nurses just a few steps away to help ease my worries or comfort my pain. I too had been spoiled by hearing our the girls' heartrates three times a day -- constant reassurance that they were still ok, even when I didn't feel them. How in the world will I survive without that?

Geoff and I talked about things and once we got some confrimation from my doctors what my limitations would be on bedrest -- we made plans for my arrival home. I would "live" in our master bedroom, the rocker/recliner from the living room would be moved upstairs so I could move out of the bed occasionally. Geoff would go out and buy a mini-fridge, a microwave and a toaster, so I could have access to plentiful amounts of water, food and have a way to heat food up. We would get a shelf and keep me stocked with food and snack items. I would be just a few steps from our master bathroom where I could use the shower (with a shower seat) and easily relieve my frequently full bladder (since I drink at least a gallon of water a day). This might just work out!

I was admitted on a Tuesday and discharged the following Monday -- six days in the hospital. I was ready to go home -- to be with my husband, our dog (who I missed tons) and our two cats. I was both excited and scared at the same time. I knew that we could do this, but I also knew it was going to be one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I am not the type of person to passively sit by and let people do things for me. I am always on the go -- cleaning, organizing, running errands. Now, I have to be a constant "couch potato" and rely on Geoff for everything. How in the world was I going to survive that; how would he...