Really -- I'm not. In the past three years, all of my images of being pregnant were images of being blissfully happy, with a cute little baby bump, wearing cute maternity clothes, surrounded by friends who were blissfully excited for me and Geoff. When we found out we were having twins, I knew that the blissfully happy image would eventually turn into extreme discomfort -- but I never really imagined how that would feel. I know that all pregnant women experience discomfort towards the end, and I was prepared for that -- or so I thought.
The size of my belly at 30 weeks measured as if I was full-term with a single pregnancy. I am now 33 weeks, and I am now measuring about 43 weeks pregnant -- and I FEEL 43 weeks pregnant. Every square inch of my body hurts. I can get out of bed by myself, but it is very hard to do -- I much prefer it when Geoff is around to help me. I can't get comfortable enough to get a good night's sleep, no matter which side I'm on, something hurts. My belly feels as if it might burst -- those girls are packed in so tight, I am amazed when I actually do feel them move, because I can't imagine there is much room in there.
I have absolutely no appetite, and when I do eat something, I feel sick to my stomach afterwards. I know I need to give myself nutrition so the girls can continue to grow big and strong -- but I am finding it harder each day to eat a healthy meal. Rather than breaking up three big meals into several smaller ones throughout the day, I find that I have to force myself just to eat three small meals.
As much as I am miserable, I can't help but think about women who are pregnant with triplets, quads or more! One of my favorite shows on TV is "Jon and Kate + 8" -- and when I start feeling miserable I think about Kate and wonder how in the world she survived with SIX babies inside of her! I am miserable with only two. I know that multiple pregnancies do occur naturally, but I know too that they to push the female body to extremes that challenge even the strongest of women.
I do think this all might be much easier on me if I weren't on bed rest for 13 weeks. My body had definitely grown weak; I don't have any stamina to do anything. Just getting ready for bed at night wipes me out -- I have had to do my "nightly routine" in shifts to make it more bearable. No matter how miserable I am, I do know that this is all temporary, and soon Geoff and I will have two beautiful daughters -- that is the ultimate reward. The first time I hold one of our girls in my arms, I know that all of this misery will be nothing but a distant memory. I know I can survive the next few weeks, but deep down I hope that someone "up there" can hit the "fast forward" button a bit, so I can get to the reward a little sooner.
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Go ahead, honey and complain away. I mean, who wouldn't? You have been a champ--a warrior for your babies and an inspiration to the rest of us who can only watch from the sideline and be in total awe of you! From experience, it is my belief that the past 13 weeks have been tougher than what you will experience as a new mom. I am so proud of you!
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